What is Perfectionism?
The American Psychological Association defines perfectionism as “the tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation.” So how does this definition manifest in the life of a perfectionist? The identifiable traits of unhealthy perfectionism are:
All-or-nothing thinking
Unrealistic and inflexible standards
Raising the bar when standards are met
Overestimating the likelihood of negative events
Underestimating your ability to cope with challenging events
Being overly focused on details
Being highly critical
Fear of anything less than perfection is the driving force of hard work
Procrastination
Low self-esteem
Difference between adaptive & maladaptive perfectionism
Let me be clear in saying that perfectionism is not inherently unhealthy or bad. Adaptive, or positive, perfectionists are often growth-oriented and strive for excellence by focusing on hard work and achievement. They enjoy the process and challenge of working towards their lofty goals. On the other hand, maladaptive, or unhealthy, perfectionists tend to stray away from growth-oriented processes and gravitate toward a failure-oriented process. Their motivation for excellence is often rooted in the fear of judgment and criticism, and anything less than perfection is unacceptable.
Cause of perfectionism
There are a number of different social, environmental, and medical factors that lead to people acquiring perfectionistic traits. It can be learned behavior from your family of origin/upbringing, past trauma, or cultural values and expectations. Although perfectionism is not mental health disorder, it can be associated with symptoms of mental health conditions or increase your risk of developing a disorder. Mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression, OCD, and eating disorders commonly go hand-in-hand with perfectionistic tendencies.
Managing and overcoming perfectionism
Adaptive perfectionism can help us achieve great things; however, maladaptive perfectionism can negatively impact our relationships, self-esteem, work, and well-being. To manage and overcome unhealthy perfectionism, you can take small steps in challenging the automatic thoughts and behaviors associated with perfectionism. Here are some steps to consider:
Set realistic goals
Practice mindfulness exercises
Let go of the comparison mindset
Use compassionate self-talk
Challenge harmful judgment
Try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with a therapist
